I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
