He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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