You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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