and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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