i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
