I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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