thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize