there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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