The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
