he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize