You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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