in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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