I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize