i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Say something about gay babies.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
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