I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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