I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
