what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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