the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
