It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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