Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.