I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
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I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
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He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.