Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.