he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
What changed your mind?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything