is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
