ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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