I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.