I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.