I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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