I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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