dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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