You smell like stripper and shame
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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