We're like a lot better than the average bears
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
