Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just want nice things and good sex
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
