Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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