Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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