Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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