Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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