I'm jealous of your bromance
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
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it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
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I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
be right there i have to get my cape
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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