Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.