i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.