i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.