I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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