call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize