oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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