I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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