Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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When are your genitals available?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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