They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think I am morally bankrupt
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????