I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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