this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...