Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk

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  (571): it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk http://tfl.nu/mdkh
  Replies (3) Good night (1302) Bad night (575)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.

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  (317): It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/gh72
  Replies (25) Good night (3015) Bad night (1108)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk

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  (301): please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk http://tfl.nu/n0hn
  Replies (27) Good night (4253) Bad night (1575)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge

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  (717): Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge http://tfl.nu/tbkl
  Replies (7) Good night (5622) Bad night (714)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Nevermind, it's not water.

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  (907): The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle. (907): Nevermind, it's not water. http://tfl.nu/jzsy
  Replies (24) Good night (7262) Bad night (870)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

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  (919): the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's. http://tfl.nu/kqcw
  Replies (10) Good night (4265) Bad night (996)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This gyro tastes like lonliness

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  (402): This gyro tastes like lonliness http://tfl.nu/d72i
  Replies (14) Good night (990) Bad night (4160)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?

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  (412): Why are there maracas in the dishwasher? http://tfl.nu/o2j7
  Replies (14) Good night (5425) Bad night (944)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.

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  (843): i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding. http://tfl.nu/yb0x
  Replies (15) Good night (1399) Bad night (3517)
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  (415): View more from California

  Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted

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  (415): Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted http://tfl.nu/ojyr
  Replies (6) Good night (3616) Bad night (1033)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.

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  (519): he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today. http://tfl.nu/4qok
  Replies (4) Good night (3416) Bad night (790)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window

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  (289): you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window http://tfl.nu/k0yo
  Replies (7) Good night (1717) Bad night (824)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.

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  (+44): So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went. http://tfl.nu/a2g3
  Replies (4) Good night (828) Bad night (1033)
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  (619): View more from California

  Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.

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  (619): Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates. http://tfl.nu/i6q4
  Replies (4) Good night (1817) Bad night (576)
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  (530): View more from California

  they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(

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  (530): they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :( http://tfl.nu/bt8b
  Replies (2) Good night (933) Bad night (555)

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