Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later? http://tfl.nu/fnnu
  Replies (13) Good night (1962) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight http://tfl.nu/30xi
  Replies (16) Good night (4468) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side? http://tfl.nu/sml7
  Replies (97) Good night (1004) Bad night (2575)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it. http://tfl.nu/o4vn
  Replies (7) Good night (3737) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age. http://tfl.nu/hp0x
  Replies (28) Good night (5906) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx
  Replies (6) Good night (3606) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?" http://tfl.nu/g1nx
  Replies (21) Good night (1467) Bad night (4061)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young. http://tfl.nu/kv9f
  Replies (2) Good night (1810) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/3dw9
  Replies (22) Good night (1912) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me. http://tfl.nu/w1nr
  Replies (18) Good night (6060) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration. http://tfl.nu/envu
  Replies (4) Good night (1370) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having http://tfl.nu/k4bc
  Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me? http://tfl.nu/sqfj
  Replies (3) Good night (1016) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/v3fg
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line http://tfl.nu/4oya
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (292)

Randomize