sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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