Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.

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(203): Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle. http://tfl.nu/zfv7

Replies (7) Good night (2520) Bad night (492)
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(205): View more from Alabama

he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?

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(205): he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy? http://tfl.nu/nikx

Replies (36) Good night (547) Bad night (4813)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

those are such fre$h shoes

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign

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(508): those are such fre$h shoes (1-508): going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign http://tfl.nu/bk8p

Replies (29) Good night (1339) Bad night (3704)
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(804): View more from Virginia

If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

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(804): If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night.. http://tfl.nu/3lun

Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (3588)
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(712): View more from Iowa

My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!

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(712): My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN! http://tfl.nu/er39

Replies (34) Good night (6731) Bad night (1255)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen

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(203): he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible... (1-203): your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen http://tfl.nu/mgfl

Replies (20) Good night (5514) Bad night (1108)
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(914): View more from New York

Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.

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(914): Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive. http://tfl.nu/oqgn

Replies (18) Good night (2144) Bad night (2317)
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(817): View more from Texas

but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head

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(817): but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head http://tfl.nu/vzhl

Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (2467)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.

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(604): There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop. http://tfl.nu/phgu

Replies (7) Good night (2635) Bad night (1111)
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(253): View more from Washington

I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.

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(253): I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears. http://tfl.nu/f427

Replies (8) Good night (696) Bad night (1595)
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(407): View more from Florida

There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.

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(407): There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture. http://tfl.nu/r7xe

Replies (13) Good night (2080) Bad night (589)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.

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(832): god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink. http://tfl.nu/rrfd

Replies (2) Good night (1137) Bad night (505)
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(312): View more from Illinois

When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close

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(312): When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close http://tfl.nu/wkbe

Replies (12) Good night (1568) Bad night (379)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Best superhero ever to exist

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(630): I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman (1-630): Best superhero ever to exist http://tfl.nu/bh1h

Replies (6) Good night (1045) Bad night (281)
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(630): View more from Illinois

A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve

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(630): A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve http://tfl.nu/0ike

Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (224)

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