You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
