I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises