ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just pee around me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.