But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia