walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize