We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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