I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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