so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
