I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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