so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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