Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
